Let’s Talk Calmness: Part 1-Rewarding Calm

Key Topics

• A calm dog is a dog that can make good choices
• Exercise grows a fit dog not a calm dog
• Put the calmness triad to work:  passive calming activities, active rest, the calmness protocol

Do you have a dog that just can’t seem to relax? 

• Does your dog jump up at your slightest movement, react to every sound they hear with barking and rushing to the door or window, or bark at you for attention?

• How about won't lie down and leave you alone when you are busy, wanting to play constantly, or being a destructive chewer.

• Maybe your dog is impossible to wear out no matter how much exercise you provide or won't calm down when guests come over. 

If yes to some or all of the above, then this post is for you!

When Piper came into our home at 5 years of age, she couldn’t settle on the couch for more than 10 minutes.  She would jump up anytime I moved, she easily barked at any noise, and couldn’t relax outside.  Outside she would constantly run the fence line barking at or chasing loud vehicles, people walking by, or movement in our neighbour’s yard. 

To help her, I started working on growing calmness.  It took time but I began to see changes.  Piper can now relax on the couch even if I get up to go to the kitchen, and she can settle outside much more than she could when she first came into our home.  There is still work to be done but watching her learn how to relax has been extremely rewarding!
Many of the behaviours you don’t like in your dog stem from over-arousal.  As you grow calmness, your dog will be better able to make good choices.  As your dog learns to access the emotion of calmness, you will begin to see better behaviour from your dog.

Three Steps to Growing Calmness

• Less exercise, more calmness
• Take on more responsibility to help your dog grow calmness
• Calmness Triad

Calmness can be taught

Less exercise, more calmness. Many dog owners, and you may be one of them(!), think that exercise is the best way to calm your dog.  If you have tried this approach, you have probably discovered that exercise doesn’t promote calmness.    Why?   Because exercise promotes fitness.   As your dog gets fitter, it will take more exercise to tire them out.

Exercise also doesn’t address the issue of over-arousal.  To get calm, you need to reduce arousal. 

This is the difference between me teaching you to run a marathon versus taking you to a spa for a massage and meditation training.  You might initially be tired after a short 3 km run but as your body adapts, you must run longer and farther to feel any fatigue.  If we go to a spa, you learn to relax and let go of stress and will be better able to access that newfound calmness even if you don’t exercise.

Take on more responsibility to help your dog grow calmness 

I covered this in two prior posts.  Check out:  Teach Your Dog to Settle by Growing Calmness – Part 1 and Part 2

The Calmness Triad

The calmness triad by Absolute Dogs is a three-pronged approach that you can use to grow calmness in your dog.

The triad consists of:

• Passive calming activities:  opportunities for your dog to chew, sniff for food, work on a food puzzle.
• Active Rest:  recognize your dog's need for rest.  The average adolescent and adult dog should rest between 12-14 hours a day made up of relaxed observation, day-time naps, and overnight sleep.  A puppy will need closer to 18 hours of active rest.
• Calmness Protocol:  reinforce your dog with something yummy whenever they are calm and relaxed.

 Calmness Protocol - Rewarding Calm

This is one of my favourite go to strategies for teaching a dog to relax.

Catch your dog being calm and reward it.

Whenever your dog settles down and might even be about to go to sleep, reward your dog with something yummy.  They will probably wake up and you may have to start waiting for calmness again but that’s okay.  With consistency on your part, your dog will learn that being calm is one way to get a yummy treat and gradually calm will become a behaviour they offer more often.

Deliver the reward in a calm way.

When you give them that yummy treat, take a deep breath and deliver the treat in a slow and calm manner.  I recommend placing the treat on the mat or floor.  In time, you may be able to switch to a calm touch or even a softly spoken word of praise.

Conclusion

Once you understand that many of the behaviours you don’t like in your dog stem from over-arousal, you can start growing calmness.  A calm dog is a dog that can make good choices.  As your dog learns to access the emotion of calmness, you will begin to see better behaviour from your dog.

Calmness grows over time.  If you recognise and celebrate the small wins, you will notice those moments accumulating until one day you will find that your dog has grown into an overall calm dog.

Reference:

Adapted from the Calmness ebook by Absolute Dogs.

Additional Resources:

Help! My Dog podcast Ep 21: Calmness Training that Fixes Barking, Reactivity, Jumping Up, Not Settling & So Much More!

To learn more from Dr. Mitchell, check out the 'Help! My Dog podcast' at:

Apple Podcast 

Spotify

Other Resources:

Sexier Than a Squirrel Podcast Calmness is King! Here's Your Key to a Calm K9!

YouTube Absolute Dogs How to Teach Your Dog to be CALM and SETTLED!

YouTube Absolute Dogs Pro Tips On Growing Calmness In Your Dog, Try Them Today!

YouTube Absolute Dogs  My Dog is Struggling With Calmness